confidence

How to stop bullying

 

Although bullying has long been a part of playground dynamics, media coverage has shone a national spotlight on it that has heightened the awareness of the problem among parents, teachers, school officials, and students. With roughly one in three schoolchildren in grades six through 10 having at least one encounter with a bully, more people than ever are looking for effective ways to stop bullying among schoolchildren.

Opinion is also changing substantially concerning the best ways to stop bullying. Victims of bullies used to be told to ignore the situation or to fight back, but today’s experts don’t agree that either of these are viable solutions.

 

Stop bullying with body language

Bullies are generally very insecure people who use their powers of intimidation to give themselves the sense of power that they lack deep down. They have almost perfect radar when it comes to selecting their victims. The best way to avoid becoming targeted by a bully is to exude a healthy sense of confidence. Body language speaks volumes, for instance.

Those who stand up straight and walk with purpose are less likely to be approached and harassed by a bully. The average bully is looking for easy targets, so the most effective ways to prevent bullying all involve not being vulnerable to their attacks.

The type of confidence that generally stops bullying in its tracks can be expressed in a variety of ways. Good posture, with shoulders back and head up, is a great indicator to a bully that his or her attentions will not be well-received.

However, its wise to be prepared in case the bully doesn’t get the message. Self-defense or martial arts classes can work wonders to dissuade bullies.

 

Stop bullying through bystander intervention

One of the best ways to prevent bullying is for those who witness it either online or in real life to speak up.

Some people think its a problem if it is only happening to them or to one of their friends and therefore fail to say anything if they see it happening to someone else. However, one of the most powerful forces in nature when it come to adolescents is peer pressure, and the disapproval and intervention of the bully’s peers can go a long way toward preventing bullying.

In short, the most effective ways to prevent bullying include exhibiting an aura of confidence, being aware of surroundings, developing some self defense skills, and bringing the behavior of bullies to those with a ability and the authority to put a stop to it.

Lessons learned from my childhood bully

 

Hello, my name is Ed and I’d like to share with you a story from my past about dealing with bullies.

When I was in the 6th grade, I had a bully named Dave who would put me down and pick on me every chance he got. He was particularly good at saving his biggest insults for when there were as many other students around as possible.

That of course only compounded the hurt and humiliation that Dave had become so adept at hurling my way. Until one day something changed.

 

Know thy enemy

My parents knew that I had been getting picked on. They also happened to know Dave’s parents.

As it turns out, Dave’s home life wasn’t all that great and my parents assured me that he wasn’t focused on me because of any issue he had with me, but because I presented an easy target for him to turn his frustration out on.

Of course, I didn’t think that fact was helpful to me at all. It’s not like I could change the way he was being raised. It took me a little while to figure out, but I realized that while I couldn’t change the cause of his bullying, I could change myself so I wouldn’t be such an easy target.

 

 

Finding the strength

One afternoon as class was letting out for the day, I found myself alone with Dave in the classroom. I frantically tried to gather my things and slip out the door before he noticed this too, but to no avail.

He began walking over to me.

Afraid of what he would do with no one around to help me, I knew this was my time to change his perception of me or face a potential beatdown. As he approached, I stood up and before he had the chance to say anything I took the initiative and finally confronted my bully.

In a firm, loud voice I asked him what exactly it was about me that made him choose me as his target. I still remember what I said.

“Is it because I’m short? Sorry, but I can’t control that. I don’t wear glasses so that can’t be it. What is it? Why do you pick on me?”

And for the first time, he turned around and walked away without a word.

 

What I learned

It took me a while to realize but appearances truly can help or hurt your cause. There was nothing I could do about being shorter than my classmates but standing up, speaking assertively and having a preplanned practiced response put my bully on his heals.

Dave never bothered me again and I learned a lesson that holds true regardless of age; if you don’t want to be a victim, don’t look like one.